Five Balconies Over
by TortureMegan
Summary: Deidara's the new boy in town, and Sasori lives five balconies over. Follow them as they attempt to overcome their differences and accept themselves for who they are.
1. Prologue

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

Deidara fidgeted with the hem of his sweater as he nervously gazed around. Dull, off-white colours surrounded him, taunted him. Blow us up, the walls whispered. Set us on fire, watch us burn. You know you want to.

"Mr. Iwa?"

He blinked, stared up at the lady. She had dark hair, and seemed to be waiting for him to say something. Her body would look really nice as she burned…No! No more of that!

"The principal will see you now."

He followed her through to another, smaller room, this one with pale green walls.

"Please, take a seat."

Thankful that these walls weren't as loud as the last ones, he slid into the overly padded seat, feeling dwarfed by its extreme size. They must have some really fat kids here.

"We don't normally get students this late, but I take it yours is a special case."

He stared at his hands, hating the way she said special, hating her voice, hating her faked kindness, hating her. The walls cried out. Set her on fire, burn her down. Listen to her scream, watch her flesh turn to ash.

"Well, here's your timetable, and here's a map of the school. You'll get your books from your teachers. Your first class is Math, in room 205. Remember, if you ever need anything, feel free to come talk to me."

He took the papers and hesitantly returned her reassuring smile before following the dark-haired lady out of the room. She chattered away, but he paid her no attention, instead watching the flames licking at the walls, dancing along the floor, writhing at his feet.

"Here we are, 205!"

The door was black, with sharp red letters cutting across it. From inside he could hear the sound of teenagers interacting, socializing.

"So what do you think?"

He tightened his grip on his bag, shuffling back slightly. She smiled at him.

"Not much of a talker, are you? Don't worry, you'll be fine."

She reached out to touch his shoulder, but he violently jerked his body away, leaving her with her hand outstretched and a shocked look on her face. He glared down at his feet, willing her to burst into flames. She didn't; instead, she pushed open the door and disappeared inside. He took a deep breath and with one last, longing look at the fire, entered the room.

**So, what do you think? Like it so far? Should I continue, yes or no? It's not a high school fic by the way, but it starts out in the school. It'll mostly be centered around Deidara and Sasori's home lives and how they interact outside of school, but this is where they first meet, so. And just to clarify because I'm paranoid, the building isn't actually on fire and the walls aren't actually talking, it's all in Deidara's mind. This is kind of my idea on the whole pyromania thing, because in most of the stories I've read it's mentioned but you never experience it. So, I'm trying to show what it's like for Deidara, but I'm not a pyromaniac so it may be nothing like this. Yeah. Please let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoyed this!**


	2. First Day

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

Everyone was staring at the front of the room, and it had suddenly gotten all silent, which was kind of creepy. He tilted his head in confusion at his friend, who merely motioned for him to turn around. Standing at the front of the room quietly conversing with their teacher was the receptionist, and behind her stood a skinny boy with long blonde hair. He recognized him as the only child of the couple that had moved into the apartment five balconies over from his. The Iwa family, his sister had said.

"This is Deidara Iwa, he just moved here. Be nice to him."

"Okay, Deidara. You can go sit in that corner over there."

The blonde paid no attention, staring at the walls. His expression was a curious mix of horror and fascination.

"Mr. Iwa!"

He jumped and mumbled something, then scurried over to his assigned seat. The teacher scoffed, then followed the receptionist out of the room, probably for more discussion of the new boy.

"Yo Sasori, didn't you say an Iwa family moved into your apartment complex?"

He turned to face the speaker, one Kisame Hoshigaki. A tall, muscular teen with blue hair and blue skin.

"Yes. That's their son."

"How are you so sure?"

"I saw them move in, and there's not that many new boys named Iwa that look like girls around."

Kisame smirked, either he was amused or an idea was coming to him. Neither of which were very desirable things to have happen, since such situations usually ended in detention.

"Why don't you ask him to sit with us?"

"No."

"Aw, why not? He looks like he could use some friends."

"Not my problem. You want him to sit here so badly, ask him yourself."

"Kuh. Fine. You coming, Itachi?"

The black-haired boy silently rose and followed his much larger friend over to the blonde. Sighing, Sasori turned back to his math book, diligently copying down the notes.

"PUT ME DOWN!"

Everyone, even the creepy kid in the corner that always ignores everything going on, looked back at the blonde who was currently slung over Kisame's shoulder like a bag. A weird, thrashing, screaming bag that was oddly shaped. Kisame happily sauntered over and dumped the boy in the seat next to Sasori, shoving the desks together so Deidara couldn't get out on that side.

"You know, normal people would just ask instead of assaulting."

"Yeah, but he didn't want to come."

"He doesn't have to."

"I say he does, and besides, it was fun."

Itachi came and dumped the blondes stuff on his desk before pushing his own desk up against the opposite side of Sasori, effectively trapping the newcomer.

"Hey, sorry about those two. They've got no respect for personal boundaries."

"Yeah, I can tell."

"I'm Sasori."

"Deidara, un."

"Hey, you just moved into the Amegakure Apartment Complex, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I live there too. Apartment 1212."

"I'm Apartment 1202."

"Five balconies over."

"Huh?"

"That's how my sister would say it. She really loves the balconies."

"Me too, un. When you're up that high, it feels like you're flying."

Deidara smiled, and Sasori was about to reply when the teacher came back in. He took one look at Deidara and sighed.

"You're not supposed to switch seats, Mr. Iwa."

"Sorry sir."

"He didn't move willingly, those two kidnapped him."

He nodded over at Itachi and Kisame, shivering slightly as they sent him matching grins of evilness.

"Fine, he can stay there. Now back to business. The formula for the second derivative…"

"Hey Sasori, how was school?"

"As usual."

"Did anything happen? You're back later than usual."

He winced slightly, and she felt regret for bringing up his tardiness, knowing how much it hurt him.

"You know the Iwa family, the ones that just moved in?"

"Five balconies over, yeah. What about them?"

"Their kid's in my class at school, his names Deidara. Itachi and Kisame got him to hang out with us."

"Awesome. What's he like?"

"He's a complete brat. He actually thinks that true art is…Fleeting."

Sasori's voice as he spat out the word 'fleeting' was so filled with disgust, she couldn't help but laugh. At the same time she felt overwhelming joy. Sure it was disgust, but hey, any emotion was better than no emotion. This kid must really be something to get Sasori, the puppeteer who seemed more like a puppet than some of his own creations, to express emotion.

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"It is."

She laughed again and wrapped an arm around his neck, half-hugging him.

"If you say so."

**And that's chapter two done! I realize that this probably isn't very interesting, but this story is set up in a style where large amounts of time are skipped over, because this is a focus on the relationship between Sasori and Deidara. And as I'm sure everyone knows, relationships don't just develop overnight, so this is going to be mostly just the key points in their relationship. However that does mean there won't always be a lot of action or interesting plot twists/developments, and I apologise for this. But I've decided that this way will work best for the story, and I'm sticking to that. So from now on out, since the prologue doesn't really count, every time there's a new chapter it means a significant amount of time has passes, and that time could be anywhere from a few days to over a month. I will let you know the approximate amount of time skipped at the start of each chapter since it'll vary quite a bit. And if you can guess who Sasori's sister is (no, it isn't an OC) you get cookies. And if you can't guess it, you get cake. Well, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	3. A week or so later

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**A week or so later…**

"Brat, what are you doing up here?"

"I'm listening to the wind. Want to listen with me?"

"Um…sure."

Sasori awkwardly sat down next to the blonde and gazed out over the city. He'd always loved the view from up here, you could see the entire city and its inhabitants basking in the red glow of sunset.

"It looks like it's on fire, un."

Sasori glanced at the boy before surveying the city again.

"Yeah, it kinda does."

"It's so beautiful."

He stared at the blonde out of the corner of his eye, and no, it wasn't because he thought the boy was beautiful (even though he did), but when someone's talking about a burning city being beautiful, even if it was metaphorically, you naturally look at them to see if they're crazy. That's why everyone stares at creepy people when they're not looking. Because, you know, it was strange to talk about fire as beautiful, well, to Sasori at least, but since the brat thought art was fl-fl-not eternal, it sorta made sense. And it proved that the boy was crazy, because seriously? Art anything but eternal? Yeah right.

"It's a shame it's gone so soon, though."

"But that's the beauty of it, the fleeting moment that vanishes in an instant."

"That's not art though."

"It is."

"No one else will experience this."

"But you'll remember it for the rest of your life."

Well, it was true, even if it wouldn't be due to the sunset.

"Are you saying I'm the only one who should witness true art?"

"No, un, but art is something that can only be truly appreciated by a select few. You're amongst them, even if you have some messed up view on what art is."

"It's not messed up! Art is eternal, and that's that!"

"Art is fleeting, and you're completely close-minded."

"So?"

"You should be more fluid, open yourself up to the ideas of others. It doesn't have to be my ideas, but someone might think something that you can appreciate."

"I appreciate my sister's view on art even though she has it wrong."

"There you go! What's her opinion?"

"Art is an everlasting ideal that constantly changes its from, molding itself into different objects and pieces."

"Un, that's an interesting view."

"Yeah, but its' wrong."

"Different. Not wrong, but different. Say it with me. Diff-Er-Ent."

"Brat. Shut up."

To his surprise the brat actually did, turning back to the now purple city and shivering slightly. He realized the smaller boy didn't have his sweater on, and then he realized there was a thick, sticky looking substance coating his skinny arms. It looked kind of reddish, like…

"Is that blood?"

Deidara started and jerked away, hiding his arms behind his back.

"No, un!"

Yup, definitely blood.

"I think it is. What happened?"

"N-Nothing happened, there's no blood, you're just imaging things, I have to go now, Bye!"

The boy scrambled to his feet and ran back inside, leaving Sasori alone with the wind and the sunset. Deciding that chasing after the brat would be pointless, he turned back to the city, watching it fade to black. The light was now dark red, and it looked like the city was drenched in blood.

**Okay. I know this is really short, but I'm going to post the next chapter up with this, and the one after that, so you'll get three chapters in one day! So at this point Sasori and Deidara are now friends, and have started opening up to each other. It might not be that obvious yet, but Deidara acts a lot differently when he's alone with Sasori compared to when he's with others, and that's because of their friendship. Any guesses on who Sasori's sister is? Not an OC, correct guesses get virtual cookies, and incorrect guesses get virtual cake. Those that don't guess, not even in their minds, get nothing. Because if you can't even guess to yourself you don't deserve it. Haha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	4. A month or so later

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**A month or so later…**

Deidara let out a shaky breath as he leaned backwards, lowering himself onto the thing that could be called his bed. One month, two weeks, and three days since he'd started school here and for the first time in this city he was skipping. That had to be a new record, usually he didn't last a month before having to ditch school. Then again, he'd stayed back for less at all those other places to avoid his classmates, whereas here he had Kisame Itachi and Sasori to ensure he wasn't bullied. Friends were truly an amazing thing to have. He sighed, let his head loll to the side. The wall whispered to him, spat words of venom into his mind. Ideas that could get him killed. These walls were louder than any of the others he'd had before, and it was difficult to ignore them. He was getting better at it, though. A burst of pain shot through his body as he rolled over, and he groaned slightly, wishing he was anywhere but there. Maybe the roof, or the balcony. Nope, he'd definitely go to the roof if he had the choice. But he could barely sit up without collapsing in pain let alone walk, plus he knew what would happen if he left his room. There were no windows; it felt as if he was in prison. Well, you could say he was. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, hoping to hide from himself in unconsciousness.


	5. Another week or so later

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**A week or so later…**

"Hey brat, you're eating at my place tonight."

"No I'm not."

"Yeah you are. My sister invited your parents over and told them to bring you."

"Oh, okay, un."

"Didn't they tell you?"

"They probably forgot to."

"Hm."

He didn't press the blonde any further, even though he knew he was lying. It was obvious to him what was going on, the boy was acting the exact same way as Kabuto had. The signs were all there, he knew what was happening, but he couldn't do anything about it unless the brat told him. He needed Deidara's trust first, then he could fix this all.

"Neh, you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"About what, un?"

"The history test."

"Oh, that's today, right?"

"Mm-Hm."

"Crap, I forgot to study!"

"Sucks for you."

"Excuse me for being busy, un!"

"Sure you were."

"Whatever."

"Brat."

"Crab Head."

"What did you just call me?"

"Crab Head, un."

"Why?"

"Cause you have red hair and crabs are red."

"Not all of them. There are green crabs, and blue ones."

"No there's not."

"Yes there are."

"Nuh-Uh."

"Yes, there are."

"Nope."

"Okay, fine. You win."

"Crabs are red, un. Crab Head."

"Good evening!"

"Hello, thank you for inviting us!"

"Oh, don't worry about it, it's lovely to meet you! Hello there, you must be Deidara! I'm Sasori's sister, Konan."

"It's really nice to meet you Ms. Konan."

Deidara smiled at the woman, trying really hard not to stare at her hair. Kinda difficult, seeing as her hair was blue. Like, Kisame blue. Complete opposite of Sasori blue. Actually, she looked nothing like Sasori, yet she was his sister. Weird…Maybe she dyed her hair. Or maybe, she got kidnapped by aliens and they turned her hair blue!

"Sasori, why don't you show him around while we have some adult time?"

Adult time. Also, get shit drunk time. At least, that's what it meant at his apartment. Lovely. Although, different apartment, different rules. And there should be different voices, but so far he'd heard none. Maybe they had some kind of anti-evil-voices thing in their home.

"Sure. Follow me."

The red head sauntered out of the kitchen, and he followed him into a large main room with paintings flowing over the walls.

"Did you do these?"

"What?"

"The paintings, un."

"Oh, those. Some of them. Most of them are Konan's."

"She paints?"

"Occasionally. But she's more into origami than painting."

"Ah. The paintings are really amazing, though."

He smiled lightly at a picture of Itachi and Kisame sitting in a tree, dressed as ninjas.

"Well, Konan's are."

"Yours are too."

"Whatever."

The elder boy turned away, and he could've sworn he saw a blush tainting his pale cheeks. He was about to press him further when a gust of cold air let him know that the balcony doors were open.

"Are those doors always open, un?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Konan. 'Bring the outside in', or something like that."

"Don't you get cold?"

"Naw, I'm used to it. So's Konan."

"Ah."

He walked out the doors, gazing in awe at the violet city. There were still many questions he had for Sasori, but he didn't ask. Interfering with another's personal space never led to good things.

"What's your apartment like anyways?"

"Oh, um, definitely not as awesome as this one, un, but…Well, it's kinda boring, I guess."

"Can I see it?"

"No, my parents don't like people coming around."

"But that's just it, they don't have to know!"

"Huh?"

Deidara turned to look at his red haired friend, whose eyes were gleaming with the excitement of a child who knows something that you don't and is going to rub it in your face and taunt you with it for the rest of your existence.

"You've got your keys with you, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Then we can get in through the balcony!"

"W-What?"

Sasori clambered onto the railing by the divisor wall, swinging his leg around and dropping down onto the balcony on the other side.

"Come on!"

"U-Un, I don't think this is a good idea, un! We'll get caught, un!"

"No we won't, these people never even use their balconies! I've done this hundreds of times!"

Wow, Sasori really sounded like a stalker now.

"You'll fall, un!"

"No I won't now come on already!"

"Please don't, un!"

Flying, he was okay with, he'd love to fly. But falling? Not so much. And they were on the top floor, so…Yeah, that would be a really long drop. Deidara vaguely heard a sigh, then Sasori reappeared on the balcony.

"Fine, we'll go some other time. By the way, brat, what's up with the un's?"

"Ah, that's a speech defect, it comes out more when I'm nervous. Sorry, un."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Um, most people find it annoying, so yeah."

"Well I think it's kind of cute."

Sasori smirked, and he blushed bright red. His speech defect, cute? And that coming from Sasori, as in his asexual best friend Sasori? Kind of difficult to get his head around. Cute? Really?

"Sasori, Deidara, it's time for food!"

"We're coming!"

Deidara jumped slightly as Sasori grabbed his hand- at least it was his hand, if he'd grabbed his wrist he'd probably have had a panic attack- and dragged him back to the kitchen, depositing him in a seat before sitting down next to him.

"So what do you think of our apartment, Deidara?"

"It's really nice, un. I love the paintings."

"Heh, me and Sasori are really into art. What about you?"

"Oh, Deidara isn't into that sort of stuff. He's tragically unartistic."

He flushed and looked down at his plate. Mother was obviously upset with him, probably because she'd seen him blushing and holding hands with Sasori. She was extremely homophobic.

"Doesn't he take art at school though?"

"Yes, but we're thinking of taking him out of it. It's just too free for him to handle."

"A wild child, huh?"

"Yes, it's so terrible. I'm always worried that he'll have trashed the pace when I get home, it's such a shame both his father and I are at work when he gets home."

"Why doesn't he come to ours?"

"What?"

"After school he could come here, and I'd look after him until you got home."

"That's a lovely idea, but I'm afraid we simply couldn't afford to pay you."

"You wouldn't have to. It would be good for Sasori to have someone his age to talk to."

"Well, in that case, it's a lovely idea and we'd love to take you up on it."

"It's settled then. After school, Deidara will come here from now on."

Konan beamed at him, and he hesitantly grinned back. He was so getting it later tonight.

**And that's settled! So now Deidara gets to chill with Sasori after school. If you guessed who Sasori's sister was, you get virtual cookies or cake, depending on whether you were right or not! If you didn't even think about it, well, you found out, that's good enough for you. And yes, Sasori is a crab head. You should know I do not nor have I ever lived in an apartment building so I'm just going by visits to friend's apartments and outward appearances meaning there's probably quite a few mistakes concerning apartments in here, but oh well. And the whole top floor thing, well, I read somewhere that in the old days they only built up to twelve floors because thirteen was unlucky, so Deidara and Sasori live at the top of an old apartment complex. Yay for them! And the divisor walls, it's these kind of walls that divide one persons balcony from the next. Not sure if you can actually climb over them, but I wouldn't advise you to try it, since Sasori is a ninja and thus awesomely cool and able to do stuff normal people can't. But yeah. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	6. A few days later

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**A few days later…**

"Hey Deidara, are you okay? You're kind of limping?"

"I'm fine, un. I just tripped during gym."

"If you say so…"

Konan watched as the blonde joined her brother out on the balcony. Sasori was right, there was something up with the boy. That nasty limp, and bruising along his neck and what little she could see of his forearms. As she spied on the two, Sasori reached past the blonde for a pencil, causing the younger boy to immediately flinch away. Right, touch him anywhere but his hands and he'd freak out. Konan hummed thoughtfully. Touch-shy, limp, bruising, and that submissive, fearful air when he'd come around with his parents. She wasn't stupid, she knew what was most likely going on, but she couldn't exactly go up to him and ask if his parents were beating him. He'd freak out, lie, then never come back over again, avoiding her and Sasori completely. And asking his parents was out of the question, Do you beat your son? Yeah, that would go down just great. They'd probably move away or something, eliminating any chance she and Sasori had at helping the blonde. Because they were going to help him, but first he'd have to tell Sasori know what was going on. Now she could wait for him to spill, it would be torture but she could do it. Sasori, however, she wasn't too sure about. He was by nature a rather impatient person, and tended to be very possessive. She could already see that he was starting to think of Deidara as his, and he hated when other people touched his stuff.

"Hey Konan, do you know where Hiruko is?"

"He's in the bathroom."

"Okay, thank you."

Sasori directed Deidara to the sofa before vanishing into said room. Sensing the boy's confusion, Konan walked over to sit by him.

"Who's Hiruko, un?"

"One of Sasori's favourite puppets."

"Eh, is he real scary?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We made a bet. If I freak out, I have to call him Master, but if I don't, he has to admit that art is fleeting."

Yep, Sasori had definitely decided that Deidara was his.

"I am so sorry."

"What for?"

"For that."

She pointed at the puppet that had emerged from the bathroom some point during their conversation. Having seen it herself many times, she was now mostly immune to the jolt of fear that came with the sight of Hiruko. But Deidara, who had never seen the puppet before, was completely unprepared for the hulking beast looming above him with scorpion tail raised threateningly high in the air. All in all, it was no surprise when he screamed, falling off the sofa. In fact, the only surprise was that he recovered fairly quickly, faster than any of Sasori's other friends. It had taken them an hour and a half to get Itachi to stop screaming.

"Pulling out the tail on the first showing? Shame on you, Sasori."

"There's no way in hell that art is anything but eternal."

She heard the familiar clacking of the hatch opening, and Sasori gracefully stepped out of the puppet, extending a hand towards Deidara. The blonde shakily took it and pulled himself upright.

"You were inside him, un?"

"Yep. Hiruko's my most complicated puppet. And, you lost."

He bent forwards and flicked the Deidara on the nose, the blonde automatically recoiling from the touch.

"Meanie. It might not be fleeting, but that's really beautiful art."

Konan smiled as her little brother blushed and turned back to his puppet, pretending to fix some small inexistent mistake.

"Do you want to see the inside?"

"Un, no thanks, it's dark, un."

"So?"

"I really don't like the dark, un, like hate it, un."

"Okay, okay, no need to get nervous."

"Un."

"Don't worry Deidara, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"You still have to call me Master, though."

"Yes Sasori no Danna."

**Okay, so from here on out the chapters should be getting longer and more interesting, since now they're spending a lot more time with each other and getting more involved in each other's lives. And Sasori and Konan have guessed at what's going on with Deidara, and have decided to help him once he asks for their help. Because they can't help him if he doesn't ask. I don't know, don't ask about the logic in that, it works fine in my head. I don't think I've mentioned this explicitly yet, but Sasori and Konan live alone in the apartment, and Konan's somewhere in her twenties, so not that much older than Deidara and Sasori. But still old enough to be Sasori's legal guardian. And yes, Sasori keeps Hiruko in the bathroom. Deal with it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	7. A lot of flirting later

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**An undetermined time (and a lot of flirting) later…**

"You know, you two are fun to watch."

"We are?"

"Yeah! You fight like a married couple and flirt non-stop!"

"Yeah, well, you and Itachi act more like a married couple than some people that are actually married!"

"Ah, but we actually are a couple, thus disarming your statement and leading to the conclusion that the both of you are in love with each other."

Kisame laughed as matching shades of red overcame Deidara and Sasori's faces. It made him think of McDonald's…Mm…McDonald's…

"Hey Itachi, can we go to McDonald's later?"

"Sure."

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"Well you have red hair, and Deidara has yellow hair, and since you're obviously in love you put the colours together and you get McDonald's."

And now they're even redder. He would never have thought it was possible to go that red.

"Hn. Kisame, I think we should put Deidara in a dress."

"That's a great idea Itachi!"

"Un, no it's not!"

"Deidara. If you score higher than me on the math test, I will wear a dress to school. If I score higher than you, you shall wear the dress."

"What if you both get the same grade?"

"We both wear a dress to school. Deal?"

"Well, I am better at math than you, un...Deal."

Kisame smirked as the two boys shook hands. Either way, he was the one who run. He could make fun of Deidara, or see Itachi in a dress again, and Itachi in a dress was hot. As in, extremely sexy can't-resist hot.

"You're going down, Iwa."

"Un, no way."

"Oi, you back there, quit yer yapping! I'm trying to teach here!"

"This sucks, un."

"Hn. I know."

"So what colour are you going to wear?"

"Black."

"I don't have a dress, un."

"Ask your mum."

"She doesn't have one either."

"Konan'll lend you one."

"Yes! Konan has lots of dresses! Pink ones, red ones, green ones, hort ones, long ones, slutty ones, elegant ones, frilly ones, all kinds!"

Deidara blanched at Itachi's outburst.

"Un, does she really have that many dresses?"

"Yup. You going to wear heels and make up too?"

"No, un."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Konan will be upset if you don't."

"All right then. You guys are mean, un."

"We know, Dei Dei. We know."

"Who's that chick?"

"No idea, but I'd totally bang her."

"Yeah, and that other one earlier, whoo."

"Totally. Shitty blue guy stealing her away."

"Bastard. But this one looks single..."

"You gonna talk to her?"

"Maybe..."

"Well, I definitely am! That's a walking one night stand right there!"

"Yeah, sex on heels."

Scowling, Sasori pushed the horny boys out of the way as he pushed his way through the throng of students, headed for the oak tree where he usually met up with Itachi and Kisame. Normally he would have walked with the brat, but he'd overslept today and was late, and that was unacceptable. Plus these stupid kids weren't helping any. Finally he managed to make it to the tree.

"Hey, sorry I'm la-Holy Shit!"

"Never thought I'd see Sasori no Danna late, un."

"Never thought I'd see Brat in a dress."

Deidara scowled and looked away, obviously still annoyed about having to wear a dress. He was wearing Konan's black evening gown, the one that hugged the wearers body and emphasised even the slightest curves, along with some gloves and

"Are those heels?"

"Konan made me."

"Ah."

"Why do those guys keep looking at me?"

"They think you're a girl and are fantasizing about having sex with you."

"What."

"Calm down, they're not doing anything. Yet. Where's Kisame and Itachi?"

"Kisame saw Itachi in his dress then dragged him off to the bathroom, they said not to wait for them, un."

Sasori sighed as he realised what they were most likely doing and slung his arm around Deidara's shoulders, pausing just before he actually touched the boy to ensure that he knew it was coming. Deidara was getting a lot better at accepting the touch of others, but it still caused him problems. It was much less stressful if he had a few seconds or so warning that someone was going to touch him, and he dealt with Sasori touching him better than anyone else touching him. Deidara didn't flinch away, and he moved his arm the few millimetres forwards to rest upon his shoulders.

"Come on, let's get you to class before you get raped."

"Kisame."

"Yes Itachi?"

"I think that Deidara might be a girl."

"So do I."

"We need to come up with a plan to confirm his true gender."

"Couldn't we just ask him?"

"Yeah, but he might lie. Plus it wouldn't be as fun."

"True. Well, what do we do?"

"Hm...We could kick him in the balls and see if he screams."

"Ah, but girls scream when they're kicked there too."

"Shit."

"How 'bout we take him swimming? Then he has to take his shirt off, and we can see if he has boobs!"

"Kisame...That has to be your most genius idea yet! Let's do it!"

"Itachi's mean, un."

"You agreed to the bet."

"I thought I'd do better than him, I studied so hard for that test!"

"Well, Itachi isn't called a genius for nothing."

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"That's because you're cute when you're embarrassed."

Deidara felt his face heat up and mumbled something inaudible, ducking his head. The walls hissed at him, but he easily ignored them, something he'd never used to do before. He guessed it was because the walls spoke about his art, the fleeting moment of beauty, but he was with Sasori right now, whose art was eternally beautiful and probably cancelled out the ranting of the walls. Now that he thought about it, the walls in Sasori's apartment never spoke to him either, so that meant it was definitely because of Sasori.

"Ninja Attack!"

He was suddenly lifted up and tossed over someone's shoulder like, well, someone who's been kidnapped. He was most certainly not tossed about like a sack of potatoes, for one he wasn't lumpy, and also he was treated with more care than a potato sack would be, seeing as he was a fragile human and the potatoes, well, weren't. However the care taken in handling him did not change the fact that he had just been grabbed by some unknown assailant who was holding him and he didn't like it one bit and it hurt. He screamed and thrashed, and thrashed and screamed.

"Brat, calm down! It's Itachi and Kisame!"

That didn't really explain anything, but Sasori was still here and at least he knew Itachi and Kisame wouldn't hurt him (too much), so he forced his body to still itself. He rested his elbows on his carriers back (it was probably Kisame since he could see trousers, plus Kisame was taller and stronger and Itachi was probably having difficulties walking after earlier) and pushed his upper body up so he could see Sasori, who had been allowed to walk. Lucky. If only you had your clay, you could blow them up and you wouldn't have let them treat you this way...He mentally told to voice to shut up, and turned his attention to the red head.

"Where are we going, un?"

Sasori shrugged, looking past him at Kisame.

"No idea, I'm just following these guys."

Deidara scowled, then tapped Kisame's back to gain his attention.

"Can you put me down please?"

"Eh, no can do. You might try running away, and then our plan will fail."

"I promise I won't run away, just please let me walk by myself."

"Itachi?"

"Hn."

"Should we let him walk?"

"No. It's fun to torture him."

Okay, scratch those earlier thoughts. He'd rather have some mystery attacker than these two. At least then he could try and fight them off, but since they were his friends he had no choice but to submit to whatever torture they were planning on putting him through.

"Sorry kiddo."

"Un!"

He groaned, and let his upper body flop back down onto Kisame's back. At least the blue boy loosened his grip slightly, only holding him just enough to ensure he didn't fall off.

"Where are you taking us anyways?"

"We're going swimming!"

Swimming. Swimming equals water equals Fuck No. He thrashed about even worse than before, and since Kisame wasn't expecting it he easily flipped off his shoulder, landing heavily on the floor. As soon as he hit the floor he tried to get up and run, but was stopped by Sasori pinning him down.

"Un, let me go!"

"Stop struggling!"

"No! Un! No! You can't make me go, un!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Let go, un!"

"Deidara!"

The grip on his wrists tightened and he stopped moving, mewling in pain. Sasori exhaled heavily, and the feeling of the breath on his face compelled him to open his eyes and tearfully stare up at the elder boy.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head, whimpering as his Danna leaned in even closer.

"I want to help you, but first you have to tell me what's wrong."

"Un, don't let them make me, un, please!"

"Huh? You mean swimming?"

At the mere mention of the word he trembled and unwillingly emitted a fearful whine. Sasori seemed to notice this, as he loosened his grip slightly.

"Brat, are you scared of water?"

"U-Un."

"I hate to break up the love fest, but people are staring, you know."

Deidara didn't understand what Itachi meant or why a blush suddenly overcame Sasori at first, but then he realised it. He was still in a dress, he was crying, and Sasori had been straddling him. Great, everyone probably though his Danna was about to rape him.

"You two can go swimming without us, I'm taking the brat home."

"But-"

"I said, I'm taking him home."

Kisame withered back under the fierce glare, and Sasori pulled Deidara up, wrapping an arm around his waist. Normally he would've protested at such an intimate touch, but he was too upset to care that he was pressed so tightly against Sasori's body, and too upset to think about how right it felt.

"You know, if you were scared, you should have just said so instead of freaking out."

"I'm sorry, un."

"Don't apologise, just remember for next time you get scared."

"Who says they'll be a next time?"

Sasori just looked at him, then chuckled and ruffled the blonde's hair playfully.

"Nice to see you're feeling better, princess."

"What did you just call me?"

"Princess."

"I'm not a princess, un."

"Yes you are, Princess Deidara."

"I'm a guy."

"I know. But, you look more like a girl than a guy, so. Plus you're wearing a dress right now, so you count as a girl. Thus you are a princess."

"If I'm a princess, then where's my Prince Charming?"

"Five balconies over."

"You do know that Konan is a girl, un?"

Sasori pouted and he laughed, subconsciously leaning into the elder.

"I'm just kidding. I'm only a princess if you're my prince, un."

"Mission: Discover Deidara's True Gender was a failure."

"Well, look on the bright side."

"Hn?"

"It helped Mission: Get Sasori And Deidara Together progress."

"True...But we still need to come up with a way to fulfil the mission."

"We could just wait until they start fucking each other then ask Sasori."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I stole your brain in the bathroom."

"Damn you, Kisame."

"Love you too!"

**This took far too long, and I don't think it turned out as good as I'd hoped, but I'm too tired to edit it any further, so here it is! I'm definitely going to have to do a separate story dedicated to Itachi, Kisame, and their evil plans of evilness, because I can't stop writing about it! And I hate my keyboard, but what else is new. Yeah, well, sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	8. Quite some time later

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**Quite some time later…**

"Konan, do you know if the Iwa's are back from holiday yet?"

"They were on holiday?"

"Yeah, in the Bahamas. Why else did you think the brat wasn't around?"

"His mother told me he'd gone to visit his grandmother."

"Can't be, he doesn't have any grandparents, they're all dead. It's just him and his parents."

"You don't think…"

"No! They can't have!"

"Calm down Sasori. I'll go see what I can find out."

"Hello?"

"Hi! Sorry to bother you, but is Deidara back yet? The teacher assigned him and Sasori a project on discrimination, and he needs this sheet."

"Deidara isn't back yet, but I'll be sure to give this to him. Thank you, good bye."

The blonde woman slammed the door shut, and Konan dejectedly trudged back to her and Sasori's apartment.

"Well?"

"No sign of him. Is mum said he wasn't there."

Sasori slumped back down in his seat, looking like he was about to cry. Of course, he'd felt so bad when it happened to Kabuto, and for it to have most likely happened to Deidara when he could've saved him…That must be hard. She perched on the seat of his chair and softly stroked his silky red hair.

"Don't worry, I'm sure he's okay."

He bit his lip and she sighed, realizing that he didn't believe her. Not that she could blame him, she didn't believe herself either.

"I'm gonna take a shower, could you clean up in here please? And close the doors when it starts raining. There's going to be a big storm tonight."

She didn't bother waiting for an answer. Knowing that he would do as she asked. Hopefully it would distract him for a while, but she knew what he was thinking about and she also knew that he wouldn't be happy until he had Deidara close to him.

The term 'saved by the phone' had never rung so true. The lady looked over at the door, pausing mid-blow, then turned back and spat on him.

"We'll finish this later, you stupid slut!"

He watched the woman left, tears leaking from his eyes.

Monster, look at you, you're pathetic. If only you blew her up, set her on fire, but you can't even do that, you can't lay a finger on this woman you call mother. Because you're weak, you let your emotions get in the way! One day she'll kill you, and it will all be your fault because you didn't kill her first. Because you allowed yourself to love her!

Love. That word, the one the walls detested. When they said love, he thought of death. But this time…He saw Sasori's face. Sasori. What would he think if he found out how weak he was?

Weak…Pathetic…Monster…

Sasori, with his crab-coloured hair and his love of puppetry. Sasori, who kept his favourite work of art in the bathroom. Sasori, who lived five balconies over…Five balconies over!

Deidara shot up, hissing at the pain in his side. He slowly struggled to his feet, valiantly blocking out the protests of the walls as he stumbled over to his door. He peeked out; No one there. His dad wasn't home, and his mum was probably in the kitchen where the phone was. Perfect. Struggling to keep himself upright, he limped over to the balcony door, heaving it open just enough for him to slide out before closing it again. He looked over the edge, then at the divisor.

"Come on Deidara, you can do this, un."

Painfully, he swung his leg around onto the other balcony like he'd seen Sasori do, and pulled himself over. He fell to the floor, landing on his face. Well, he might not be as graceful as Sasori at this, but this meant he could see the red head, so he'd willingly endure the pain.

He'll hate you, you know. He'll see how weak you are and he'll shun you forever, he'll spit on you and despise you!

"I-I don't care, un! I have to see him!"

Thump. That was the second balcony. Sasori's would be the fifth he landed on. The one with the open doors; Sasori always kept those doors open.

Third balcony. But he might have closed them. It was raining heavily, and the wind was beginning to pick up. There was going to be a storm.

You won't make it. You'll fall and die.

"No, I won't, un! I have to see him! Just one more time, I have to see him, un!"

Fourth balcony. The rain dripping from his body was red. He didn't care. It was cold, and wet, but he couldn't feel anything. All he could feel was an overwhelming desire to see his Danna again.

Deidara grabbed hold of the divisor, and his hand slipped. He growled at it, then took hold of it again. Next, he swung his leg over the railing and around, letting out a hiss of pain when it bashed into the railing on the other side. He tried to lift his leg over, but he was so tired, and it hurt so much. After shaking his water-clogged bangs out of his face, he pushed off, bringing his other leg around. It cleared the railing, then there was the black of the sky and his hands had slipped and he wasn't vertical anymore.

"Deidara!"

He was falling and it was cold and wet and he was going to die without seeing his Danna and he was scared and tired and he wanted to scream but nothing came out. And then suddenly, something was wrapped around his waist and he was upright again, his lower body pressed against the railing and his upper body held against something warm. The warmth disappeared and he was pulled over the railing and into the apartment, hearing the click of the doors behind him, and then he was warm again and he saw the source.

"Sasori Danna!"

His Danna was here, he was here with his Danna, and then he was crying and shivering uncontrollably.

"Sh, it's alright, I'm here. What the hell were you doing out on the balconies during this storm?"

"I-I had to see you, un, I had to tell you, I had to-"

He broke off, violently coughing, and Sasori pulled him closer, rocking him back and forth as he stroked his back soothingly.

"It's okay, everything's gonna be fine. Konan!"

"Sasori? What's going on-Holy Shit!"

Fast footsteps approached, then another pair of arms were encircling him, holding him. He flinched away from the contact, burying himself further in Sasori's shirt.

"He came across the balconies, you have to help him!"

"Bring him to the bathroom, then go get some dry clothes for him."

"Konan? I've got the clothes."

"Good. Can you help him into them, please?"

Sasori knelt down next to Deidara, carefully pulling the clothes onto the blonde. He tried to focus his gaze on the boy's face, but he couldn't stop his eyes from drifting down to stare at the bandages covering Deidara's torso, arms, and legs. Red was beginning to seep through already, and he felt anger boil inside him. Anger against whoever did this to the boy. It was completely unfathomable. Sure, the boy could be annoying at times, but he always backed off when asked, and he was never annoying to the point that he'd make people want to injure him so badly. Sometimes he'd piss Sasori off and he'd feel like punching him, but that was out of frustration, and he didn't necessarily want to punch Deidara, just wanted to punch someone. Once he was done dressing the blonde, Konan wrapped multiple blankets around him before shoving his clothes into the laundry basket.

"He's still too cold. Sasori, do we have any more blankets?"

He was about to reply, then someone rang on the door bell. A few seconds later, they rang it again, this time pounding on the door for extra effect. This guest obviously wasn't going to go away.

"You two, stay here. Do not come out until I say so, okay?"

Konan left. And Sasori pulled Deidara into his lap, rocking him like a little child as he eavesdropped on Konan's conversation.

"**Hello again Mrs. Iwa, how-Is that blood?"**

"**I-It was Deidara! He came back and attacked me, then escaped over the balconies! I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I was worried, I thought he might have come here."**

"**No, he must have gone somewhere else, I'm alone in the apartment."**

"**Do you mind if we have a look around?"**

Shit. That voice. The apartment manager. If he wanted in, he'd get in, and if they found Deidara…No. They wouldn't find Deidara. He'd hide him, somehow,

His eyes landed on Hiruko, and he shuffled closer, opening the hatch. Deidara looked u at the familiar noise (Sasori would often stay in Hiruko while in the apartment).

"D-Danna, un?"

"Sh, brat, it's okay. You have to get in Hiruko."

"N-No, un! It's dark in there, un!"

It was a good thing Deidara's throat was hoarse, otherwise their guests probably would have heard him.

"**I was in the shower, I'd much prefer it if you didn't come snooping around."**

"Brat. Deidara. I know you don't want to, but you have to. They'll find you if you don't. I'm sorry, if it were up to me you wouldn't have to, but it's the only way."

"**Ms. Akasuna, you appear to underestimate how dangerous the situation is. This is a known psychopath we are talking about, God knows what he might try."**

"B-But it's dark, and scary, and dark, and it's really dark, un."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"**Fine, you can come in, but make it quick. I'm off to visit a dear friend of mine, I have to leave soon."**

Deidara whimpered and pressed himself even closer to Sasori, wrapping his legs around the red-heads waist.

"I'm scared."

"It's okay, I am too."

"**Where's Sasori?"**

"**Already left. I stayed back to sort some stuff out, we probably won't be coming back for a while, by the way."**

He heard footsteps, and cursing the fact that there was no time left to get Deidara more comfortable with this, he lifted the boy up and stepped into Hiruko, closing the hatch mere seconds before the familiar sound of the bathroom door met his ears. Deidara whimpered quietly, and he pulled him even closer, pressing the blondes face into his chest to try and muffle any noise the boy might make.

"**Holy Shit! What the fuck is that thing!"**

"**Sasori's puppet, Hiruko. Don't fuck with it, he will murder you."**

Thank you Konan for making him sound like an insane artist. Then again, technically he was ne, so…A quiet yet ominous noise interrupted his musings, and he unwillingly tensed as he realized it was the sound of someone running their fingers along the puppet shell. Deidara must have sensed this, because he pressed his face into Sasori's neck to silence the whimpers. Sasori shivered at the sensation of the cold skin and the warm breath mingling against is bare skin.

The noise stopped; then he heard the door open and close, and the group was gone. He let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding, absent-mindedly stroking Deidara's hair.

"S-Sasori Danna, un?"

"Yeah?"

"Are they gone?"

"Not yet, Konan'll let us know when they are."

"It's really dark in here, un."

"I know. Just close your eyes and pretend to sleep."

"O-Okay, un."

The blonde yawned, shifting to a more comfortable position in Sasori's lap. He smiled slightly as he also closed his eyes, focusing all his attention on what he could hear. Deidara's quiet breathing, the rain drops on the window, the wind rushing outside, the dripping of the shower, the footsteps in the room-Wait, what?

"Sasori? They're gone now."

Hiruko's latch opened and he blinked at the sudden burst of light, lifting Deidara out of the puppet.

"Aw, you two are so cute together!"

He glared at Konan as he gently set his brat down, cursing the heat flowing to his cheeks.

"Are they gone?"

"For now, but I get the feeling they'll be coming back, and next time they probably won't bother with the pleasantries. Grab what you need, we're leaving."

"Right."

Pulling Deidara along behind him, he rushed to his room, grabbing two bags and filling them with clothes.

"I don't understand, what's happening, un?"

"We're kidnapping you. Here, take this, it's yours now."

Deidara hesitantly took the bag, still looking utterly confused.

"I'll explain later, but right now we've got to go, so just follow me?"

"Okay.

He ran back out into the hallway, Deidara right behind him.

"You two done?"

"Yeah."

"Right, let's go. Deidara, put this hat on."

"Okay."

Konan peered out the door of the apartment, then gestured for them to follow her. They casually slunk down the hallways, ninja creeping their way over to the elevators. Luckily for them, the doors opened straight away! Unluckily, the elevator already had people in it. As in, Deidara's parents and the apartment manager.

"Shit."

"Run for it!"

Konan grabbed Sasori, and Sasori grabbed Deidara, and they ran for the stairs, rushing down them at an alarming rate. They ran down all twelve flights of stairs, out the lobby and into the parking lot. Konan let go of Sasori in order to pull out the keys to the only physical gift of their parents: A sleek, fast black sports car, that unluckily only had two seats. Oh well, looks like Deidara would have to sit on Sasori's lap. Not that Sasori minded, he liked having the brat close to him. Sasori slid into the passenger seat, pulling Deidara along with him, and slammed the door much harder than necessary as Konan revved the engine. They zoomed out of the parking lot just as Deidara's parents and the manager came running outside, and within minutes they were on the highway, racing along at astounding speed.

"Have we lost them, un?"

"Hell yeah. There's no way they're catching up to this baby."

Konan rubbed the steering wheel affectionately as Sasori and Deidara both relaxed, bodies shaking slightly from the adrenaline rush.

"So where are we going?"

"Well, you remember Zetsu, right?"

"God no!"

"Hey, it's either him or Kakuzu. Your choice."

"…Fine. But he better not try eating me again!"

"Don't worry, he's over his cannibalism. Could you call him please? My phone is in my left pocket."

Deidara leaned over and pulled out the phone, silently handing it to Sasori. He thanked the blonde before scrolling down to the bottom of the contacts list and hitting call, placing the phone on speaker as it was immediately answered.

"Hi! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Tobi, **get the hell off my phone!**"

"But Tobi's a good boy!"

"**They're calling me, not you! **That wasn't nice! **I don't care.**"

"Zetsu? Why the hell is Tobi answering your phone?"

"Oh, hi Konan. **The twat stole it. **Borrowed. **Stole! **We gave it to him! **You did, not me!**"

"Okay, forget I ever asked."

"**We will. **Shut up before I medicate your ass the hell. **Fine! Bitch.** Anyways, Konan. What's up?""

"The sky."

"Hi Sasori. **Stinking midget.**"

"Remember that kid I told you about, Deidara?"

"Yeah. **He sounds delicious.**"

Growl. And glare, even though the phone can't see it.

"**Someone's possessive. **Shut up. Besides, we're vegetarian now. **You are. **The medication's right under the sink. **… **That's better. So Konan, why are you asking?"

"Um, we kinda kidnapped him and got chased out of the apartment complex by his parents and the apartment manager."

"Konan, you naughty girl!"

"Hey, he came crawling over the balconies in the middle of a storm all bloody and bruised, this is a rescue mission!"

"I get it. You can come stay with us, but…There's someone else here."

"Fine by me, Sasori and Deidara can always share a room."

"**We're going to hold you to that later. The fine by me part, not the horny teenage boys sharing a room part, I'm not dealing with them fucking non-stop.** That's stereotyping. **I don't care.**"

"You do know they're both here and they can both hear you, right?"

"**Shit. **Your fault. So when will you be arriving?"

"Erm, probably sometime tomorrow evening, since we're going to stop somewhere for the night."

"We'll see you then. **Later bitches! **That's it! Tobi, get the medication! **No!**"

"Tobi is a good boy!"

Sasori ended the call and placed the phone in the glove compartment, deliberately not looking at Konan.

"Um…Who was that, un?"

"Zetsu, an old school friend of mine. He'll look after us while we figure out what to do next. Tobi used to go to school with Sasori."

"He's bloody annoying."

"He's not that bad!"

"Yes he is! You never had to put up with him!"

"Zetsu does it every day!"

"Yeah, well Zetsu's insane!"

"Look, I've already told you. Zetsu or Kakuzu, which do you choose? Or we could turn around and go back to the apartment."

"Zetsu."

"Exactly. Now can you help me out, we need to find someplace to stay the night. And skip the first three places, they always check those."

"Right…"

**It's done! Yay! I don't really have much of an idea of what to do after this…Oh well. And I'm sorry this took so long, I've had test week and then my laptop stopped working and so I'm on a different computer with a crap keyboard and it won't let me upload the chapters from it so I have to type them up here then upload them on a different computer and it's fucking annoying! But anyhow. I like this chapter a lot, I think I've finally got the voices right. You know, the voices that talk to Deidara.**

**CLARIFICATION: When Sasori and Deidara are talking in the bathroom, the bold speech is what Sasori hears going on at the door, so it's Konan, Deidara's mum, and the apartment manager talking. Do they even have apartment managers…? And bold is Black Zetsu, and regular text is White Zetsu. **

**So, yeah. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


	9. The next morning

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**The next morning…**

"Hi, can I get three waffle combos please?"

"Okay, that will be fifteen dollars and seventy-five cents, please."

The blue-haired lady dumped the exact change into her outstretched hand and grabbed the food, sauntering over to the table occupied by a red-haired boy and a blonde girl? boy? boy, were quietly discussing something. Now working at a highway diner meant that she saw some pretty freaky characters, but there was something different about these lot, she just couldn't put her finger on it. Luckily for her, there were no other customers this early, so she had nothing to stop her from staring at them.

The woman had blue hair and pale skin, and quite a few rings in her ears and one below her lip. That meant she was a piercing freak. Father said people that get metal put in their bodies are cyborgs, and worship the devil.

The first boy, the pale one with red hair, was staring around the restaurant as if he was expecting someone to jump out at any time. That meant he was a criminal. Father said, criminals are all psychopaths that will rape you, murder you, then take all your money.

The last boy had really long blonde hair, and he was covered in bandages that seeped blood. He was hunched up and sitting really close to the other boy, as if he was scared he'd suddenly disappear. That meant he was a child abuse victim. Father said child abuse victims are wimps that sell their bodies for drugs.

As she was watching this icky group, the red-haired boy wrapped an arm around the blonde's waist, pulling him against his side. She frowned. Father said gay boys were all infected with AIDS and could contaminate you with one touch.

"Konan! How lovely to see you!"

She jumped as her boss slithered over to the table, engulfing the woman in a tight embrace.

"Hello, Orochimaru."

"It's been far too long."

"Indeed it has."

"So who might this be?"

"This is Deidara."

"Hello, un."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dei~Da~Ra."

Her boss grinned flirtatiously, and the red head pulled the blonde into his lap, growling. Ew, ew gross gross gays!

"He's mine, don't even think about it!"

"Ooh, someone's possessive."

"Orochimaru! Leave Deidara alone, and stop antagonizing Deidara!"

"Or what?"

"Trust me, you do not want to get on my bad side right now."

"But he's so sexy, both of them are."

He licked his lips, then the next second he was on the floor, blood gushing out his nose as the lady stood over him, glaring heavily.

"Sasori, Deidara, grab your food, we're leaving."

She stared, shocked, as the customers picked up their food and left, clambering into an awesomely sleek black sports car that she could never afford. As it sped off out of sight, she grumbled to herself, sinking down into her seat.

"Stupid gays."

**If anyone found some of what this girl said offensive, I apologise. I found it offensive too, that's why I wrote it. Firstly to show the thoughts of a homophobic, which is difficult for me because I'm not a homophobic, nor have I ever been a homophobic, and secondly to poke fun at stereotypes. Because seriously, they're stupid. So, I put in stupid stereotypes to show how stupid they are. And it's an excuse to put Orochimaru in as a semi-evil guy. Because he needs more roles as a semi-evil guy. And the girl that's talking…Well, you can put whomever you don't like in for her. And then imagine Sasori and Deidara (well, mostly Sasori) slowly tearing her apart for being stereotypical and mean. So, yeah. I hope yo enjoyed this chapter! I know I did.**


	10. The next day

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!**

**The next day…**

Sasori shot up, blindly looking around the room. Slowly, as his senses came back to him, he calmed down, laughing at his daftness.

"A nightmare. Just a nightmare."

He rolled out of the bed, frowning when he realised Deidara wasn't there.

"Hey, you're awake. **Finally. **Didn't I medicate you? **I came back. **Fuck."

"Where's Deidara?"

"He woke up about an hour or so ago. Konan dragged him down for food a few minutes or so again, he didn't want to leave you. **How cute, your little bitch is attached to you!**"

"Shut up."

"I second that. **Whatever. You should probably go save him, Tobi likes him a lot and won't get off him.**"

"What?"

"Tobi keeps on glomping him. I tried to get him off, but your blondie smells like blood, and you know what will happen if I go near him like that. **I still say we eat him. **No! **But he smells delectable! **I don't care!"

Sasori didn't bother listening anymore, brushing past the older man as he stormed downstairs.

"Sasori! Hi!"

"Hi Tobi."

"Morning Sasori no Danna, un!"

"Morning."

He slid into the seat next to the blonde, subtly pulling his chair closer as Tobi leaned towards the boy.

"Where's Konan?"

"She said something about registration, then left."

"Ooh, Tobi knows! Tobi knows! Ms. Konan went to register Sasori and Senpai at Tobi's school!"

"What."

"Too late for complaining, you're registered now."

"Konan!"

"Ah-Ah! I will not let your education be affected by this."

Sasori sank back down into his seat, pouting subtly as Tobi celebrated and Deidara ate his Weetabix. Konan just laughed at their fate, then took her own seat at the table.

"Cheer up, it's not as bad as it seems!"

"Yeah! Because, because, Tobi gets to see Senpai and Sasori all day now! And Hidan goes to Tobi's school too!"

"Hidan goes there?"

"Um yeah, guess I forgot to mention that part. Sasori? Sasori! Stop smashing your head into the table!"

"Who's Hidan, un?"

"An annoying cultist freak that's swear happy and has a thing for causing physical harm."

"Um, okay…"

"He's a nuisance, just leave it at that."

Deidara shrugged slightly, then rolled closer to Sasori, nestling into his side.

"Ne, Sasori no Danna?"

"Yes?"

"Why does Mr Zetsu avoid me?"

"Because he's got multiple personalities, and you smell like blood."

"…I don't get it."

"His other personality is a cannibal, and he has limited control over it."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They fell silent again, listening to the sounds of arguing drifting up from the kitchen.

"Why are we in Konan's room again?"

"Because she gets a bigger bed. We don't both fit in either of our beds, even with you being way too skinny."

"I am not way too skinny!"

"You are! You're not anorexic, are you?"

"No! Un."

"You sure."

"Positive. I ate those Weetabix, remember?"

"You didn't finish them."

"Cause I'm not used to having that much to eat."

"So you are anorexic!"

"No I'm not! I've just never had a lot to eat."

"Why?"

"My parents don't think I'm worth feeding, un."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's been like that for as long as I remember, I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be."

"Well I am."

"We're going to change that though."

"That reminds me! You still have to explain what's going on, un."

"What do you mean?"

"At the apartment, when you told me to take the bag and run. You said you'd explain what was going on."

"Oh yeah. Well, basically. We assumed your parents had been beating you, and you're my brat, not theirs, so we kidnapped you."

"Since when am I your brat?"

"Since you're not in a dress anymore, so you can't be my princess. So, you're my brat."

"I'm not a brat, un."

"I know."

"Then why do you call me that?"

"I don't know. Just sounds right, I guess."

"Ah."

Deidara flipped onto his stomach, chewing on the end of his hair as he lay sprawled on the bed.

"Why does Konan get such a big bed?"

"Because Zetsu was assuming I still sneak in to sleep with her."

"Un?"

"I used to have separation anxiety, I couldn't go anywhere without Konan."

"S-Seriously?"

"Hey, don't laugh! It wasn't funny! She had to follow me around school all day, it was embarrassing!"

"Sorry, but it sounds really funny!"

"You're evil."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Huh?"

"Don't be sorry for who you are. It's annoying."

"Right."

Deidara nodded determinedly, and Sasori laughed before pulling the blonde to lie on top of him.

"You don't weigh much."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Make me make you."

"What?"

"Ha! Wild Deidara uses confusion! It's super effective!"

"If that's how you want to play…"

Sasori rolled over, trapping Deidara underneath him.

"Wild Sasori uses Wrap. The wild Deidara cannot escape!"

"Not fair!"

"The wild Deidara uses Plead. It is not at all effective."

"Wild Deidara uses Flail, un!"

"Still not at all effective. Wild Sasori wraps tighter."

"Ouch! Um, um, wild Deidara uses Puppy Dog Eyes!"

"It's super effective. Wild Sasori releases the wild Deidara."

Sasori rolled off Deidara, only for the blonde to pounce on him.

"Wild Deidara uses Spider Web!"

"Wild Sasori is immune to bug-type moves."

"Crap."

"Wild Sasori uses Bite."

"Ow! Fuck! Wild Deidara faints! Wild Sasori can leave now!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Wild Deidara flees!"

"Wild Sasori uses Mean Look, wild Deidara cannot escape!"

"Meanie."

"I know."

"You're squishing me."

"Promise not to run away?"

"Promise, un."

"Good."

Sasori rolled them over so that they were lying on their sides, but he kept his arms locked around Deidara.

"So."

"What do you think they're fighting about?"

"Who?"

"Konan and that weird guy with the piercings."

"Oh, you mean Pein. They always fight when they meet, cause of some fight in high school or something. I don't know, but Konan fucking hates his guts."

"Interesting."

"Not really."

"Yeah, but I'm just saying that it's interesting to attempt to dispel the awkwardness of my failed attempt at conversation."

"…Since when do you know such long words?"

"I'm not an idiot, un."

"Could've fooled me."

"That's from that song, isn't it?"

"Yeah! How's it go again?"

"Anything you can do, I can do better."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can, yes I can, un!"

"I don't think she says un."

"Whatever. Why am I the girl?"

"Because."

"What kind of an answer is that?"

"My kind."

"You're evil."

"I know."

"Hey, you've been to the school here before, right?"

"Yeah."

"What's it like?"

"The teachers are bitches and the students will probably try raping you because you're so cute."

"Well that's encouraging."

"Don't worry, I won't let anyone near you."

"Promise, un?"

"Promise."

"All right then. Thank you. For, well, saving me."

"This is strange, you're thanking me for kidnapping you."

"So? It means I get to see you more, and my parents aren't hurting me, and the walls aren't being evil. I have every reason to thank you, un."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm tired."

"Me too, but we can't sleep in Konan's bed."

"She'll just sleep in our room, no big deal. Damn, I'm never dealing with Tobi when he's hyper ever again."

"It wasn't that bad…"

"Deidara."

"Okay, it was that bad."

"That's what I thought. Now go to sleep."

"Yes Danna."

"Did I just hear sarcasm?"

"Maybe…"

"Sleep or I will bite you again."

"I'm sleeping!"

"Good girl."

"Hey!"

"Snore."

"Evil."

"Snore-Go to sleep-Snore."

"Fine! Un."

"Snore."

**This is embarrassing…I finished this ages ago but forgot to post it. I am an idiot! You have every right to call me an idiot now. I'm calling myself an idiot. Yeah, but anyhow. This chapter didn't turn out as good as I'd hoped, but I really can't make it any better right now, because I am just pissed off to the extreme. Because I moved house last august, and ever since my sister has been going on and on at me about this and that, it's like I can't do anything without pissing her off, but I have 'no right' to get mad at her, it's just urgh! It's February already! I miss my friends too, but I'm not taking it out on her, so it just pisses me off, and I'm not allowed to do anything about it! And then earlier today, I just snapped and started yelling my head off at her, and I was doing my best to just not swear because my baby sister was there too, and to not take a chair and smash her fucking head in, but no one appreciates the effort it took me, and now my mum wants to send us to family counselling. I don't need any more of that counselling shit, it doesn't help at all! I just need my sister to get over the fact that we've moved, and there's nothing she can do about it, so she should just stop bitching at me! It doesn't help, at all. It just makes things worse because I have violent tendencies, and when I get so pissed at people that I lose control…Not a pretty sight, plus she's a complete pussy. Grr. Fucking hate this shit. And now I'm ranting again, stupid bitch I'm not supposed to rant. I'm sorry. I'll stop now. And to make up for it, I'll try and get the next chapter up by tomorrow or the day after, sometime soon anyways. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	11. The next school day

**Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story**

_**Next school day…**_

"First day of school! How are you feeling?" (Konan)

"Do I have to answer that?" (Sasori)

"No, because no matter what you say I'll just assume you said excited." (Konan)

"I hate you." (Sasori)

"Love you too. Now go get them!" (Konan)

"No." (Sasori)

"Sasori." (Konan)

"Fine. Yes Konan, I'll act like a preppy stuck up bitch to entertain you for now. I'm so excited about going to this hell known as a school! I'm probably going to beat up half the male population by the end of the day! Oh, it's going to be so much fun! Happy now?" (Sasori)

"Yes. Now go forth, and venture into the world of education!" (Konan)

Sasori glared at Konan once more before stalking out the door. A few minutes later, Deidara and Tobi came to join him.

"Where is the school, un?" (Deidara)

"We get a school bus." (Sasori)

"From where?" (Deidara)

"I don't know." (Sasori)

"Tobi knows! The bus stops by that big tree!" (Tobi)

"Then why aren't we there?" (Sasori)

"Sorry, I'll take you there, because Tobi is a very good boy!" (Tobi)

"Isn't that the bus, un?" (Deidara)

Indeed, the yellow bus was pulling up to the stop. Panicking slightly, the three boys ran all the way to the tree, practically throwing themselves into the vehicle once they reached it.

"The fuck are you doing back here?" (Hidan)

"Hello to you too, Hidan." (Sasori)

Tobi slid into the seat in front of Hidan's, while Sasori pulled himself and Deidara into the seat next to Hidan's.

"Who's the bitch?" (Hidan)

"I'm a guy." (Deidara)

"Shit, you look like a chick." (Hidan)

"So?" (Deidara)

"Hidan, this is Deidara. Deidara, this is Hidan." (Sasori)

"Pleasure, bitch. Anyhow, puppet fucker. Why are you back here? Didn't think you liked it here." (Hidan)

"Me and Konan are staying with Zetsu while we wait for the police investigation to blow over." (Sasori)

"Police? What shit did you do this time?" (Hidan)

"We kidnapped Deidara." (Sasori)

"Don't look like you kidnapped him, he ain't fighting." (Hidan)

"Wait, you kidnapped me? Since when?" (Deidara)

"Brat, I've told you this before. You count as a minor, so even though you willingly came with us, it still counts as kidnapping." (Sasori)

"Oh, okay then." (Deidara)

"Deidara-Senpai, look, look! It's the school!" (Tobi)

The school was a miserable sight to behold. Dark storm clouds surrounded it, high iron-wrought gates, tall walls covered in ivy…Yeah, no. It was a plain gray building with a separate brick gym set off to its right. Fairly nondescript and unthreatening.

"Well, that's…" (Deidara)

"Disappointing? Yeah, it could at least look like a fucking hell hole, but no, it has to disguise itself as a normal school. Bah! Jashin shall smite it!" (Hidan)

Deidara opened his mouth to ask what or who Jashin is, only to have Sasori clamp a hand over his lower face.

"If you value your sanity, do not ask him." (Sasori)

He mutely nodded, and Sasori released him.

"I'll explain it later." (Sasori)

"You always say that, un." (Deidara)

"Welcome to our school!" (Teacher)

"I've been here before." (Sasori)

"Oh, then welcome back to our school!" (Teacher)

"It's my first time here, un." (Deidara)

"Why don't you introduce yourselves to the class?" (Teacher)

"I'm Sasori. Don't talk to me." (Sasori)

"I'm Deidara, and no, I'm not a girl, yes I'm gay. If you have a problem with that, I don't care." (Deidara)

"Um, you two can sit by…" (Teacher)

"The bitches are sitting by me." (Hidan)

"But-" (Teacher)

Too late. The two boys had already settled themselves in the seats by Hidan, and were staring expectantly at the teacher. Embarrassed, she cleared her throat before beginning her lesson.

"Open your books to page 97, please." (Teacher)

"Hey, welcome back." (Konan)

"Bitch, why didn't you tell me you were here?" (Hidan)

"Hi Hidan. I told Kakuzu, he must've forgotten to tell you." (Konan)

"Or the bastard didn't tell me. What's up?" (Hidan)

"Not much. How'd school go?" (Konan)

"Puppet fucker beat up about five or so bastards for hitting on his bitch." (Hidan)

"I'm not a bitch, un!" (Deidara)

"What the fuck ever." (Sasori)

"Hidan. You continue to insult Deidara, and it'll be you I'm hurting next." (Sasori)

"Ooh, touchy. Chill, I'm just having some fun." (Hidan)

"Where'd Tobi go?" (Konan)

"To piss off Zetsu." (Sasori)

"Fuck. I'd better go stop him." (Konan)

"Bye Konan!" (Sasori)

"You're still pissed that I sent you to school, aren't you?" (Konan)

"Yup!" (Sasori)

"Stupid little brothers." (Konan)

"Annoying older sisters." (Deidara)

"I feel incredibly left out now." (Hidan)

"You and me both, blondie. You and me both." (Hidan)

"We can hear you talking about us, you know." (Sasori)

"Yeah, we know. We just don't give a shit. Am I right, or am I right?" (Hidan)

"You're left, un." (Deidara)

"Damn you." (Hidan)

"No. Damn you. I damn you to heaven!" (Sasori)

"I fucking hate you." (Deidara)

"Ne, Sasori no Danna?" (Deidara)

"Yes?" (Sasori)

"What or Who is Jashin?" (Deidara)

"Hidan's god. Apparently he encourages destruction and self-mutilation." (Sasori)

"Okay then." (Deidara)

Silence fell over them again, covering them like a blanket.

"Ne, Sasori no Danna?" (Deidara)

"Yes?" (Sasori)

"Why are we in Konan's bed again?" (Deidara)

"Because I don't trust Tobi." (Sasori)

"What does that have anything to do with where we sleep, un?" (Deidara)

"Tobi might try stealing you away while we sleep." (Sasori)

"He wouldn't…Would he?" (Deidara)

"He would. But since we're in the same bed, he can't take you without waking me. Thus, it's safer for you if we share a bed, and ours are too small, hence we have stolen Konan's bed." (Sasori)

"That doesn't make any sense to me. Oh well, I'm not complaining." (Deidara)

Deidara pressed closer to Sasori, yawning as he rubbed his face against the elders arm.

"Deidara?" (Sasori)

"Yes Sasori no Danna?" (Deidara)

"You're-You're not going to leave me, right?" (Sasori)

"Never, un." (Deidara)

"Good." (Sasori)

"Well well well, look what we have here." (Hidan)

"Go away Hidan." (Sasori)

"Fuck no. What you bitches doing in bed so early?" (Hidan)

"It's ten at night." (Sasori)

"So? We gotta party!" (Hidan)

"No." (Sasori)

"Damn cocksuckers." (Hidan)

"Hidan?" (Deidara)

"Yes, oh blonde one?" (Hidan)

"Why do Konan and Pein hate each other?" (Deidara)

"That is a long story." (Hidan)

"I want to know." (Deidara)

"Okay then. But Imma tell you what Kuzu told me, so don't believe everything for real. He might have lied to me, wouldn't have been the first time.

"Anyhow. So in high school, Kuzu, Zetsu, Pein and Konan were all friends. They were the weird group at school, like we are here. And Konan had a crush on this popular boy, since freshmen year. Now you know prom, right? Well, Junior year prom, they all went together, and they got huge amounts of crap for that, but they didn't really care. Except Konan, cause she didn't have friends to stick up for her in the bathrooms and the locker rooms, so she got the worst of it.

"Somehow, someone found out about her crush on this guy, and a dastardly plan was hatched. Basically, he asked her to Senior year prom, and convinced her they should try out for prom queen and king. They won, then when they went up to accept the award, he turned to her, called her a slut, and poured his drink on her in front of the entire school. She was traumatised or something. Ran away from the place crying. Zetsu and Kuzu went after her, Pein had vanished. He'd been pissed that Konan was going with the guy and not them, so he'd stalked off somewhere and they couldn't find him.

"But apparently he'd been near the front and seen the entire thing. Next day, at lunch, Zetsu, Konan and Kuzu were in the cafeteria, trying to ignore the others. Then Pein comes up. He looks at Konan, says : You deserved it, bitch, and slaps her so hard she hits the floor. Then he just leaves, never talks to her again.

"And that is why Konan hates him. Don't know why he hates her. Kuzu thinks maybe he had a crush on her and felt betrayed, but he never told anyone, so we'll never know." (Hidan)

"Can I kill him?" (Sasori)

"No Danna, killing is not the solution. Torture is." (Deidara)

"I like your style." (Hidan)

"Back off." (Sasori)

"Chill, I ain't hitting on your bitch." (Hidan)

"I'm not a bitch, un!" (Deidara)

"You look like one." (Hidan)

"I will bite you." (Deidara)

"Yeah right." (Hidan)

Chomp. Chew, chew.

"Holy mother of fuck! That shit hurts like a bitch!" (Hidan)

"Can't say I didn't warn you, un." (Deidara)

**This should not have taken so long. I'm sorry! In my defence, I was in Turkey, and then my parents had me running around doing all this shit on them, because I'd obviously come back from some luxury vacation and not a hiking trip through deep snow. Of course not. Grr. Evil. And yes, Deidara is getting a lot more confident (feisty). Sasori is teaching him well. My hand hurts now. I was more than halfway through with adding in the names of the speakers, then I realised: I have copy and paste. Damn I feel like an idiot now. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


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